Since 2006, my loving nod to Merlin Mann's 5ives
A member of the Deep Mustard
Thursday, June 28, 2007
5 Things That Suck About Hospitals
- $100 Tylenol.
- Building interior deliberately designed to resemble a maze.
- The food.
- Smells funny.
- Push the elevator button on a Tuesday, you might see the elevator show up sometime on Friday night.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
5 Things I've Thought About The iPhone
- Gee... for $600, I'd hate to drop it.
- Looks slippery as heck.
- How can you tell the front from the back when you're quickly pulling it out of your pocket to answer a call before they hang up?
- My iTunes library will NOT fit on that (26 GB > 8 GB).
- Leaving that unattended on your car seat means your car WILL be broken into.
5 Classic Rock Songs You Sing The Choruses To, But Hum The Rest Of
- "My Sharona"
- "Sweet Caroline"
- "Rock N Roll All Night"
- "You Shook Me All Night Long"
5 Things That Let You Know Your Company Is Going Under
- The CEO leaves to "spend more time with family".
- You somehow move from the mailroom to the boardroom the same day.
- Complimentary coffee is replaced by a pitcher of Kool-Aid.
- Your office is moved to the basement.
- The annual Christmas party is replaced by "Happy Holidays" scribbled on a Post-It note stuck to your monitor.
Monday, June 25, 2007
5 Things That Let You Know You're On Vacation
- You do that "mental checklist" thing in the car on the way out of the driveway, and think of stuff you didn't pack.
- You do mental triage with that list of stuff, deciding if it's better to go back for that toothbrush, or to buy a new one at CVS.
- You tell everyone you're leaving at 9 am and take off somewhere around 3 pm.
- No matter where you're going, someone's already been there, and tells you your destination sucks.
- 10 million important phone calls received once you arrive
Friday, June 22, 2007
5 Things You Can Do After You "Back That Ass Up"
- Give it a Scooby Snack.
- Apply it directly to the forehead.
- Take the backup copy and place in a fireproof safe.
- Do a neutral drop and blow past the cops.
- Keep both hands on the 10 and 2 positions and parallel park it.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
5 Things I Did At Woodloch Pines (that I didn't do last year)
- Played Bocce Ball with my Dad and won a tournament.
- Played miniature golf with my son.
- Stayed for the awesome Sunday Brunch.
- Got lost on arrival.
- Skipped the big show on Saturday night.
5 Non-Standard Things On My Office Desk At Work
- Propane fuel for my portable grill.
- Red Solo cup full of Vault Zero.
- My Tilley hat.
- USB P-touch labeler.
- Super Mario Sound Drop keychain.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
5 Things I've Beta Tested
- Now Up To Date / Contact 4
- Outlook Express 5 for Mac
- Office 2004 (plus the Exchange Server Pack)
- StarPop! (for Palm OS)
- Office 2000 (for Windows)
5 Things My Dad Taught Me
- Measure twice, cut once.
- If you do that, you'll knock your teeth out.
- Jazz music is cool.
- Know a little about everything, so you'll always have something to talk about with strangers.
- Know when to work and when to play.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
5 Really Awesome Beach Boys Songs
- "God Only Knows"
- "In My Room"
- "Good Vibrations"
- "Little Saint Nick"
- "Surfin' USA"
5 Things That Will Make Any Morning Worse
- Oversleeping because you forgot to set your alarm.
- Stepping out of the shower and discovering your towel is still wet from yesterday's shower.
- Trying to get dressed and realizing you're out of clean socks, underwear, shirts, etc.
- Stuck in "rubberneck" traffic.
- Forgetting your lunch in the fridge at home.
Monday, June 04, 2007
5 Things I've Learned In The Year Since I've Started My Job
- Vault Zero > Diet Mountain Dew
- No matter which solution you use, Windows syncs with a Palm better than a Mac can.
- Don't bother writing some Rube Goldberg solution down, since next time, it will happen in a completely different way.
- 99% of email sent around the office is stuff that's been floating around the internet since 1997.
- No matter how important the thing you're working on is or if you want to be disturbed or not, someone will always interrupt you with something more important.
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