five things

Farewell.

2008-11-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm announcing my final posting here at “Your Friendly Neighborhood Mac Guy”. Effective immediately, I am effectively closing both “Your Friendly Neighborhood Mac Guy” and it’s second-cousin-twice-removed site, “Five Things”. Neither blog is going away, I’ll keep them up as long as Blogspot allows it. the same crap content you know and love will now be found at my new blog, “Spicy Brown” – http://spicybrown.deepmustard.com.

It’s been a terrific run since I started way back in… harumphharumph. This decision did not come easily for me, since being here is something that I've loved to do since I discovered my voice here on the Internet. There have been a few reasons for doing this and I hope you all switch your bookmarks over to the new site.

Finally, to quote Babe Ruth, who's pictured here:

"There's been so many lovely things said about me, and I'm glad that I've had the opportunity to thank everybody. Thank you."

Q&A:

Q: Why are you shuttering two sites?

A: I have a long commute back and forth to work. As a result, my blogging time has shrunken dramatically. There’s also my family; for some strange reason they want to spend more time with me.

Q: What happens to all that crap content you’ve posted?

A: They will still be available at http://macfixer.blogspot.com and http://five-things.blogspot.com -- until Blogspot pulls the plug.

Q: Where can I locate you?

A: I’m always available at http://www.deepmustard.com.

Q: I love you, run away with me!

A: First off, that’s not really a question, secondly, I’m already happily married, thank you very much.

Q: Are you done yet?

A: Yes.

5 More Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"

2008-11-15T06:48:00.000-08:00

"More adidas sneakers than Reagan's got jelly beans..."
"Got more rhymes than my beeper's got beeps..."
"More flavor than the prune in Dr. Pepper..."
"Step to me and I'll back the heck down..."
"In the back of the ride and I'll provide the OJ"

5 Things I Wish I Could Do, Period.

2008-11-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

Make origami paper cranes.
Play slide trombone.
Juggle.
Beat the original "Super Mario Brothers" game.
Drive 55 (ha!).

5 Things That Rhyme With 'Orange'

2008-11-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

5 Rules For Dogs And Property

2008-10-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

If I like it, it’s mine.
If it's in my mouth, it’s mine.
If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
If I buried it somewhere, it must not have been yours anyway.

5 Things I'll Miss About Grandma

2008-10-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

Note: My grandmother passed away on February 22, 2008. Tomorrow she'll be buried at sea, and I wanted to pass on some fond memories to you.

The smell of mothballs in her house.
The box of Luden's cough drops she always carried in her purse.
Her tounge sticking out whenever I tried to take her picture.
The best meatballs ever cooked by a Lithuanian.
Her Boston accent, since she only spoke, in her words, "The Queen's English".

5 Things Rob Base Want You To Do (According To "It Takes Two")

2008-10-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

Bring all the suckers, 'cause all them he'll stomp.
It won't hurt to listen to Red Alert.
Take off your shirt, make sure it don't hit the dirt.
Go to the Wiz and select it.
Take it off the rack, if it's wack put it back.

5 Reasons I'm Not Voting McCain / Palin (whether they're true or not!)

2008-10-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

Dude looks like he cool keel over any second now. Should they have a second-string candidate?
McCain has one 'Nam flashback, and he's pressing the red button. Who knows where those ICBMs are headed? Goodbye, Baltimore!
Palin's whole MILF factor makes me uncomfortable. It's like voting for Angelina Jolie...
It kind of negates the whole "Obama is the Messiah" thing that's going on. Everyone likes a happy ending.
Al Gore invented the internet; didn't become president. McCain invented the Blackberry! -- See where I'm going with this? Inventors have no time for puny stuff like presidency...

5 Videos You Will Always See On "America's Funniest Videos" On Any Given Night

2008-10-05T05:06:00.001-07:00

Grandpa losing his dentures.
A kid trying to hit a piñata, but instead smacking somebody's nuts.
Dogs and cats not getting along.
A baby with some sort of food item in it's hair.
Somebody slipping on ice and falling down... hard.

5 Things You Can't Shout In A Crowded Movie Theater

2008-10-05T05:02:00.000-07:00

"Fire!"
"Hey, Who farted?"
"Don't go in there! He's got an axe!"
"These aren't Raisinettes! I asked for Raisinettes!"
"Hello? I can't talk now... I'm watching a movie... Hello? Can you - can you hear me? A moooovie... Yeah, I'm at the movies now..."

5 Windows Apps I Wish Were On The Mac

2008-09-21T04:31:00.000-07:00

Paint.NET
Picasa
Internet Explorer 7
Microsoft Access

Filemaker Pro

Google Chrome

5 Soft Drinks I Really Miss

2008-09-11T03:18:00.000-07:00

5 Tunes That Take Me Back To Band Camp, circa 1990

2008-09-10T09:45:00.001-07:00

Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock - "It Takes Two"
Sylvia and Mickey - "Love Is Strange"
Meat Loaf - "Paradise By The Dashboard Light"
Rockmaster Scott and the Dynamic Three - "The Roof Is On Fire"
Jungle Brothers - "I'll House You"

5 People I Imagine Would Be At An Orgy

2008-08-18T01:51:00.000-07:00

"The Stache" - The man with entirely too much body hair. Seems entirely over-confident.
"The Model" - Has a body that's entirely too perfect, like Michaelangelo's David.
"The Prude" - Sits in the corner, fully clothed. You're not quite sure why they're even there.
"The Star" - Their performance is a little over the top, done for the entertainment of the rest of the crowd.
"The Woody Allen" - This person cannot locate a partner. Spends the evening fumbling around in the dark and knocks over an antique lamp. Apologizes profusely.

5 Things That Let Me Know I'm Old

2008-08-16T18:02:00.001-07:00

I hate about 90% of the music of today.
No desire to hang out at the mall anymore.
Black socks and sandals seem like reasonable footwear.
A lot of my stories start with "When I was your age..."
Anything "retro" was new when I was younger.

5 Things The "My Buddy" Doll Would Do If He Was A Real Buddy

2008-07-29T01:57:00.000-07:00

Spot you $10 at the bar when you were short.
Be your wingman when trying to pick up girls.
Donate a kidney to you, since you both had the same blood type.
Provide a solid alibi, in case the cops were asking.
When you broke up with your girlfriend, tell you how much of a bitch she was, and how much better off you were without her.

5 Things That Let You Know The Relationship Is Over

2008-07-20T16:52:00.001-07:00

A swift kick in the groin.
The holiday gifts go from "jewelry" to "ring pop".
She tells you on Facebook.
'Your song' goes from Etta James' "At Last" to Greg Kihn's "The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)"
There's a garage sale going on outside your house, but it's just your stuff, and it's all free.

5 Songs That Can Be Heard At Timeout During An NBA Game

2008-07-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

Salt N' Pepa - "Push It"
Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock - "It Takes Two"
Gary Glitter - "Rock N Roll (Part 2)"
Tag Team - "Whoomp! There It Is"
Village People - "YMCA"

5 Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"

2008-07-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

"Got more rhymes than Fran's got Drescher"
"Got more flavor than a communion wafer"
"More funky than Barry White's underarm"
"The girl was hotter than Patrick Ewing's jockstrap"
"Serve you on a platter like Kraft food dinner"

5 Things That I Hate About Facebook

2008-07-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

The people you want to connect with aren't using Facebook, and the folks you want to avoid are.
Poking somebody isn't as cool as the name suggests.
No, I do not wish to play Scrabulous -- stop asking me!
It's just like a High School reunion (where everybody around you seems to be living a better life than you, is skinnier than you, and drives a better car than you), except you're not having to wait 10/15/20 years to have that rubbed in your face.
No, really -- stop asking me to play Scrabulous! It's getting annoying!

5 Things I Love About My iPod Shuffle (even though they all start with 'No')

2008-07-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

No getting distracting with what song to listen to -- it's 1 playlist, and it's shuffling, period.
No getting involved with rating my songs while playing -- there's no way to rate the songs.
No worries about having album art -- there's no display anyway.
No display means better battery life, can play it for 3 hours of commuting as well as 8 hours of work without breaking a sweat.
No shiny mirror back to scratch -- I just clip it to my shirt and take it with me.

5 Apps I Wished Apple Would Buy And Make Part Of The OS

2008-06-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

Growl
VLC
Parallels
Bento
Docktop

5 Things That Will Always Happen At An Elementary School Concert

2008-06-05T01:58:00.000-07:00

The entire tuberculosis ward will be in the audience, ruining any audio recording being made.
Your view of the stage will always be obscured by a camcorder-wielding overzealous parent.
No matter which side of the auditorium you sit on, it will be the wrong side and you won't be able to see your child.
A baby will cry. Loudly. Any attempts to bring that baby out of the auditorium will result in a weird, Doppler-effected wail on the way out, similar to a fire truck racing down a street with it's siren blaring.
Which ever group your child is in, that group will always be performing last on the program.

5 People I Thought Were Straight, But Aren't

2008-06-03T14:06:00.001-07:00

Cesar Romero
Neil Patrick Harris
Richard Chamberlain
Miss Cleo
Cat Cora from “Iron Chef America”

Related: 5 People I Thought Were Gay, But Aren't

5 Favorite VitaminWater Flavors (In No Particular Order)

2008-05-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

Formula 50 (grape)
Revive (fruit punch)
XXX (Acai-Blueberry-Pomegranate)
B-Relaxed (Jackfruit-Guava)
Defense (Lemon-Ice) [R.I.P.]

5 Things That Make Me Laugh, Every Time

2008-05-11T10:35:00.001-07:00

Fart jokes.
A video of some chap getting hit in the giblets.
Kids laughing (usually at the video of the chap getting hit in the giblets).
People walking into stationary stuff.
An episode of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" (British or US -- either one is funnier than most scripted stuff).

5 Things That Make My Life Easier

2008-03-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

Aliph "Jawbone" bluetooth headset -- quite possibly the best headset I've ever owned. Callers can hear me even with the noisiest conditions, and it's so comfortable, I often forget I'm wearing it.
Apple iPod photo 60 GB -- I used to buy giant 400-CD binders to carry all of my tunes whenever I went to a party or for a drive in the car. Now, I carry something the size of a deck of cards. Same songs, easier handling.
Apple iMac -- To be able to do video editing or web editing with a giant flat panel screen was like something out of a movie or something. Now it's on my desk. Awesome.
Palm Treo 680 -- Not the best phone, the best browser, or the best PDA. However, for now, it's the best of all three.
Gatorade Propel Grape Water Beverage Mix -- It used to be hard to drink a lot of water during the day. Adding a Propel packet makes it easier and more flavorful.

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

2008-03-06T02:42:00.000-08:00

5 Things I Used To Look Forward To In My Easter Basket

2008-03-05T16:03:00.000-08:00

Speckled malted milk eggs (from the Whoppers people)
The hollow milk chocolate bunny.
Jelly beans from Jelly Belly.
Peeps.
Marshmellow eggs.

5 One-Hit Wonders I Thought Would Go Further In The Music Business

2008-02-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

Deee-Lite ("Groove Is In The Heart")
Harold Faltermeyer ("Axel F")
Edwin McCain ("I'll Be")
The Knack ("My Sharona")
The Romantics ("What I Like About You")

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

2008-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

Blondie "Tide Is High"
No Address "When I'm Gone (Sadie)"
Boston "Peace Of Mind"
Bill Haley and his Comets "See You Later, Alligator"
The Platters "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"

5 Things I Wish I Could Do As Well As My Sister

2008-02-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

Today is her birthday, so I wanted a list just for her:

Her handwriting is really, really neat. You might have to tilt the paper at an angle to read it (since it's all stretched out), but it's really neat. My handwriting? Block print.
She went to college up north and lost her Long Island accent, but moved back and it's been seeping in more and more. "Oh my gawd! What are you tawking about?"
Greenest. Grass. Ever.
All those hospital trips for her kids and still keeps them around. That is bravery.
Can barter better than a Wall Street trader.

Happy Birthday, Erika!

5 More Songs With Sick Bass Lines

2008-02-01T06:13:00.001-08:00

U2 "Vertigo"
The Breeders "Cannonball"
The Beastie Boys "Pass The Mic"
Mass Production "Firecracker"
Overseer "Horn Dog"

5 Things I Miss About Living On Long Island

2008-01-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

7 really good Italian bakeries and 12 really good pizzerias around every corner.
The roads are simpler: east/west or north/south.
The LIRR beats Metro-North, hands down.
Going to All-American for burgers.
Going to the Dairy Barn for milk and not having to get out of the car.

5 Places I've Slept In At Least One Night

2008-01-14T17:34:00.001-08:00

Tampa, FL
Richmond, VA
Bowie, MD
Chapel Hill, NC
Buffalo, NY

5 Things I Did On My Snow Day Today

2008-01-14T17:31:00.001-08:00

Made French Toast for breakfast.
Dug out 2 cars from the snow.
Helped my son with his school project.
Brewed some fresh mint iced tea.
Watched a documentary on the history of the Golden Gate Bridge.

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

2008-01-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

The Beatles "The End" (still!)
AC/DC "Let Me Put My Love Into You"
Julie London "Warm December"
U2 "Beautiful Day"
DJ Jazzy Jeff "The Garden (feat. Big Daddy Kane)"

5 Things I Think About While Watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve

2008-01-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, a million-zillion people -- where are the bathrooms?
These people can't be native New Yorkers, right? I mean -- who spends 5 hours in the cold to count down from 10?
It must take hours to get home from Times Square after midnight. Do you just say, "Screw it" and stay up?
Really, where are the bathrooms? Do they just go where they're standing or do they all wear astronaut diapers?
What does Dick Clark do the other 364 days of the year?

5 Truths I've Learned About The Holiday Season

2008-01-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

The older you get, the less you like Egg Nog.
Always an argument over where to spend Thanksgiving vs. Christmas.
No matter how many gifts you buy, no matter how early you start your shopping, you'll always be one short at Christmas Eve.
The last newest classic Christmas song was from Band-Aid... and that was in 1984.
No matter how you try, Festivus will never become a real holiday. It's just a gag from a TV show, get over it.

5 Places I'd Love To Visit (But Not Live)

2008-01-06T05:31:00.001-08:00

San Francisco, CA.
New York, NY.
Seattle, WA.
Honolulu, HI.
Miami, FL.

5 Things I Did This Morning (before 8 am)

2008-01-06T05:29:00.000-08:00

Washed the dishes.
Fed the cats.
Loaded some ringtones onto my Treo.
Started prepping for breakfast.
Took my meds.

5 (Still More) Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Me

2007-12-28T16:48:00.000-08:00

I don't own a pair of jeans.
My round-trip commute averages around 120 miles.
The furthest west I've been has been Western New York.
I've beta tested lots of software, but the only place my name appears is in the credits for Now Up-To-Date & Contact 4.
I took the Pepsi Challenge and picked Coke.

5 Songs With Sick Bass Lines

2007-12-28T16:40:00.000-08:00

Thom Yorke "Black Swan"
Chic "Le Freak"
Rufus & Chaka Khan "Dance Wit Me"
Nu Shooz "I Can't Wait"
Queen "Another One Bites The Dust"

5 Songs Tell Me That Christmas Has Officially Begun

2007-12-09T05:58:00.000-08:00

5 Things On Chrissie Hynde's TODO.txt file (according to "Brass In Pocket (I'm Special)")

2007-12-06T06:47:00.001-08:00

Use my arms
Use my legs
Use my style
Use my sidestep
Use my, my, my imagination

5 Things On Steve Miller's TODO.txt file (according to "Fly Like An Eagle")

2007-12-06T06:40:00.001-08:00

Feed the babies, who don't have enough to eat.
Shoe the children, with no shoes on their feet.
House the people, livin' on the street.
Fly like an eagle, to the sea.
Fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me.

5 Gangs That Would Not Do Too Well In Prison

2007-12-03T17:31:00.001-08:00

Bazooka Joe and his Gang
Our Gang from The Little Rascals
The Jets (not the football team)
The Sharks (not the hockey team)
The gang in this Afterschool special:

5 Things On The Internet I'm 100% Sure My Dad Has Never Heard Of

2007-12-03T17:25:00.000-08:00

5 Small Things I Like About Leopard (Mac OS 10.5)

2007-11-29T03:00:00.000-08:00

Boots up so fast, there's no "Welcome To Macintosh" screen.
Dock items are spring-loaded (hold an item over a Dock folder, and it pops open)
Full-sized previews of my Word and Excel documents without having to open them.
Animated icons in iChat (finally!)
New text-to-speech voice Alex actually 'breathes' while reading, sounding more natural.

5 Things I Am Good At

2007-11-28T13:38:00.001-08:00

I make a pretty mean tomato sauce.
I can hit most of the high notes when singing along with the radio in the car.
I can play a Bb or a C tuba.
I understand enough Spanish to get by.
I make mashed potatoes by hand, with a whisk.

5 Things (Besides Turkey) I Ate This Thanksgiving Weekend

2007-11-24T18:27:00.001-08:00

Chinese Duck
A clam dip / stuffing / cranberry sauce open-faced sandwich
A Honey Crisp apple
A knish from All-American
My sister's homemade garlic bread

5 Movies I Loved As A Kid, But When Viewed As An Adult, They Suck

2007-11-24T18:04:00.001-08:00

5 Tunes In Heavy Rotation Right Now (Nov 2007)

2007-11-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

Beastie Boys - "Lighten Up"
Hall & Oates - "One On One"
John Mayer - "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)"
The Beatles - "Blackbird / Yesterday"
Boston - "Something About You"

5 Things I Loved As A Kid, But Now I Think Are Dumb

2007-11-08T13:58:00.001-08:00

The Goonies
Carrot and Mayo sandwiches
The Fat Boys
Styx' "Come Sail Away"
Roller rinks

5 Things That Make Me Cry.

2007-10-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Reading "I Love You Forever" to my son.
Reading "The Giving Tree"
Chopping onions.
Whenever my mom gets all sappy when I visit her.
Watching "It's A Wonderful Life"

5 Things That Have Me Jazzed About Mac OS X 10.5 "Leopard"

2007-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

I might rid of this stupid ATi video card glitch
Spotlight might be fast enough to actually work for me.
Time Machine might possibly save my biscuits.
The end of Brushed Metal.
Steve says it's like a brand-new Mac.

5 Tunes In Heavy Rotation Right Now

2007-10-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

5 Times In My Life I Was Really Scared

2007-10-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

When my wife left the car after an argument and I couldn't find her.
After I was told I needed to have an emergency appendectomy or I'd die.
When I found out my dad had cancer.
When I lost Mason for a few harrowing minutes at a NYC playground.
On 9/11 when I realized my wife worked up the street from the World Trade Center.

5 Complaints My Parents Made Against The Music I Love

2007-10-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

"Jim Croce: a man and a guitar. That's all you needed back then..."
"Frank Sinatra... when he sang, you could hear all the words..."
"Destroying their guitars? Do they know how much that stuff costs?!?"
"Rap music? Do you want to be black?!?"
"I've heard similar drumming on my African Tribal Music records..."

5 Movies I Really Love

2007-10-03T07:29:00.001-07:00

Airplane!
Singing In The Rain
The Matrix
Star Wars: A New Hope
Ronin

5 Games I Miss Since My XBox Died

2007-10-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

Shrek Super Party
Halo: Combat Evolved
Amped
Fable (not that I really played it, but my wife was good at it, and it was fun to watch her play)
Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic

5 Songs That Take Me Back To My First Job At Adventureland in Farmingdale, LI

2007-09-23T12:01:00.001-07:00

Hi-Five "I Like The Way (The Kissing Game)"
Extreme "More Than Words"
Tara Kemp "Hold You Tight"
The Beach Boys "Kokomo"
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch "Good Vibrations" (why isn't this on iTunes?!?)

5 Things I Hated About Doing Jury Duty

2007-09-21T14:49:00.001-07:00

No cameraphones allowed. What is this, 1996?
The "hurry-up-and-wait" mentality was in full effect.
I put down "I have lawyers in my family" (I do), and as a result, I was never questioned for any juries. What a waste.
No internet. Would've been fun to put some updates on twitter.
The neighborhood. I would've liked to walk around, but it was like a war zone over there.

5 Things I Loved About Doing Jury Duty

2007-09-21T14:46:00.001-07:00

That good "civic pride" feeling you get, similar to when you donate blood.
No cell phones allowed, and no internet access. As a result, I caught up on my ESPN and Seventeen Magazines
The 2-hour lunch and getting to go home early. I wish my usual workday was that light.
Having lunch with my wife, since she was in downtown Hartford as well.
Being able to catch my son's baseball practice for the first time (since I normally get home from work too late to see it).

5 Groups And The People Who Introduced Me To Them

2007-09-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

U2 - My boss, Daren.
The Steve Miller Band - My then-girlfriend Krista.
Led Zeppelin - My ~~now-~~wife Sonia.
Frank Sinatra - My dad.
Biz Markie - My good, good friend Mike-$

5 Things That Piss Me Off About (most) Modern Action Movies

2007-08-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

"Bullet Time" used in the big fight scene.
Shots so tight, you have no idea what's going on in the scene.
Hackers dressed stereotypically: black clothes, knit cap on head, sarcastic smirk.
Computers that say crap like, 'access granted' in a clear woman's voice.
Gratuitous product placement (yeah, I'm looking at you "Blade Trinity")

5 Things That Suck About Labor Day

2007-08-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

After this weekend, it's hot enough to go swimming, and all the pools will be closed.
That sinking feeling you get that school is less than 72 hours away.
The pressure you feel trying to shoehorn an entire summer's worth of fun into a 3-day weekend.
It'll still be hot out and you can't wear shorts and flip-flops
It's the "unofficial" start of Fall... sigh...

5 Things No Longer On McDonald's Menu That I Miss

2007-08-10T11:26:00.001-07:00

The McRib (that's a gimmie, though)
The McDLT
The Arch Deluxe (bacon AND dijon mustard, what a combo!)
The Double Big Mac (when you're really, really hungry!)
The McLean Deluxe (I don't miss the dry, flavorless burger, though...)

5 Ways You Can Tell Your Best Friend Is No Longer Your Best Friend

2007-07-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Says, "I promise to call you more often" -- then proceeds to not.
Changes jobs and forgets to give you new number and email address.
He's the Best Man at your wedding, and doesn't make you even a member of his wedding party.
You've had nothing new to say for years, instead relying on the same crap you've said for the last 15 years.
Dropped off the internet: no emails, no Instant Messenger, not even a Facebook page.

5 Stereotypical Soldiers You'll Meet In Any Movie Requiring A Group Of Soldiers

2007-07-17T02:49:00.000-07:00

The white "everyman" who just wants to get home -- usually carries a picture of his daughter for good luck.
The black guy who misses his mama's cooking.
The Latino who has to speak every other word en Español.
The geek who doesn't want to die -- but usually does.
The Teddy Bear "Sarge" with a tough exterior but a heart of gold.

5 Things That I've Learned In The 5 Years I've Been Married

2007-07-13T05:39:00.001-07:00

When you're going to the bathroom, the door must remain open.
To maintain parity, Thanksgiving is at one parent's house, Christmas is at the other's.
You start to recognize "The Look" when you said something you shouldn't have.
It's OK to argue every once in a while, as long as we make up before we go to bed.
It's really hard to sleep at night without her next to me.

Holy crap! I've been married 5 years! Who woulda thunk it?!?

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation On My iPod In The Last 30 Days

2007-07-13T03:18:00.000-07:00

"Canary In A Coalmine" -- The Police
"Do The Funky Penguin (Part 1)" -- Rufus Thomas
"Connected" -- Stereo MC's
"Easy Lover (feat. Phil Collins)" -- Philip Bailey
"All Summer Long" -- The Beach Boys

5 People I Thought Were Gay, But Aren't

2007-07-11T06:43:00.001-07:00

~~Alan Alda~~ Tony Randall
Frank from "Trading Spaces"
Calvin Klein
Mikhail Baryshnikov
C-3PO

5 Things To Remember When It's This Hot

2007-07-10T12:07:00.001-07:00

It's hotter in Arizona.
It's not just the heat, it's the humidity.
Ice cream would NOT be better off down my shorts.
It sucks to be a dog.
Thank God for Air Conditioning.

5 Sound FX In Your Fireworks Arsenal

2007-07-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

"Pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap!"
"Squuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-pop!"
"Flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-pop!"
"Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...pop!"
"Dude, watch this... ow! my finger!"

5 Things Julie Newmar Forgot To Thank Wong Foo For

2007-07-02T10:38:00.001-07:00

"Thanks for the memories..."
"Thanks for the fish..."
"Thanks for setting up my computer"
"Thanks for giving me that cold..."
"Thanks for adding me as a friend to your MySpace list..."

5 Things That Would Probably Taste Better Than New London Tap Water

2007-07-02T10:32:00.001-07:00

The spit from one of those "Alien" critters.
Sour milk.
Pizza grease drippings.
Stale beer.
Liquid Drano.

5 Things That Suck About Hospitals

2007-06-28T10:19:00.001-07:00

$100 Tylenol.
Building interior deliberately designed to resemble a maze.
The food.
Smells funny.
Push the elevator button on a Tuesday, you might see the elevator show up sometime on Friday night.

5 Things I've Thought About The iPhone

2007-06-26T11:45:00.001-07:00

Gee... for $600, I'd hate to drop it.
Looks slippery as heck.
How can you tell the front from the back when you're quickly pulling it out of your pocket to answer a call before they hang up?
My iTunes library will NOT fit on that (26 GB > 8 GB).
Leaving that unattended on your car seat means your car WILL be broken into.

5 Classic Rock Songs You Sing The Choruses To, But Hum The Rest Of

2007-06-26T07:52:00.001-07:00

"My Sharona"
"Sweet Caroline"
"Rock N Roll All Night"
"You Shook Me All Night Long"
"Jump"

5 Things That Let You Know Your Company Is Going Under

2007-06-26T07:38:00.001-07:00

The CEO leaves to "spend more time with family".
You somehow move from the mailroom to the boardroom the same day.
Complimentary coffee is replaced by a pitcher of Kool-Aid.
Your office is moved to the basement.
The annual Christmas party is replaced by "Happy Holidays" scribbled on a Post-It note stuck to your monitor.

5 Things That Let You Know You're On Vacation

2007-06-25T12:44:00.001-07:00

You do that "mental checklist" thing in the car on the way out of the driveway, and think of stuff you didn't pack.
You do mental triage with that list of stuff, deciding if it's better to go back for that toothbrush, or to buy a new one at CVS.
You tell everyone you're leaving at 9 am and take off somewhere around 3 pm.
No matter where you're going, someone's already been there, and tells you your destination sucks.
10 million important phone calls received once you arrive

5 Things You Can Do After You "Back That Ass Up"

2007-06-22T11:35:00.001-07:00

Give it a Scooby Snack.
Apply it directly to the forehead.
Take the backup copy and place in a fireproof safe.
Do a neutral drop and blow past the cops.
Keep both hands on the 10 and 2 positions and parallel park it.

5 Things I Did At Woodloch Pines (that I didn't do last year)

2007-06-19T07:13:00.001-07:00

Played Bocce Ball with my Dad and won a tournament.
Played miniature golf with my son.
Stayed for the awesome Sunday Brunch.
Got lost on arrival.
Skipped the big show on Saturday night.

5 Non-Standard Things On My Office Desk At Work

2007-06-19T07:10:00.001-07:00

Propane fuel for my portable grill.
Red Solo cup full of Vault Zero.
My Tilley hat.
USB P-touch labeler.
Super Mario Sound Drop keychain.

5 Things I've Beta Tested

2007-06-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

Now Up To Date / Contact 4
Outlook Express 5 for Mac
Office 2004 (plus the Exchange Server Pack)
StarPop! (for Palm OS)
Office 2000 (for Windows)

5 Things My Dad Taught Me

2007-06-07T06:28:00.001-07:00

Measure twice, cut once.
If you do that, you'll knock your teeth out.
Jazz music is cool.
Know a little about everything, so you'll always have something to talk about with strangers.
Know when to work and when to play.

5 Really Awesome Beach Boys Songs

2007-06-05T08:24:00.001-07:00

"God Only Knows"
"In My Room"
"Good Vibrations"
"Little Saint Nick"
"Surfin' USA"

5 Things That Will Make Any Morning Worse

2007-06-05T05:57:00.001-07:00

Oversleeping because you forgot to set your alarm.
Stepping out of the shower and discovering your towel is still wet from yesterday's shower.
Trying to get dressed and realizing you're out of clean socks, underwear, shirts, etc.
Stuck in "rubberneck" traffic.
Forgetting your lunch in the fridge at home.

5 Things I've Learned In The Year Since I've Started My Job

2007-06-04T09:50:00.001-07:00

Vault Zero > Diet Mountain Dew
No matter which solution you use, Windows syncs with a Palm better than a Mac can.
Don't bother writing some Rube Goldberg solution down, since next time, it will happen in a completely different way.
99% of email sent around the office is stuff that's been floating around the internet since 1997.
No matter how important the thing you're working on is or if you want to be disturbed or not, someone will always interrupt you with something more important.

5 Nick Jr. Shows That I Miss Watching Now That We're "Too Old For Nick Jr."

2007-05-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

Oswald
Little Bill
Bob The Builder
Blue's Clues
Dora the Explorer

5 Great Sandwiches From Big Chains

2007-05-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

Cosi's Tandoori Chicken
Quiznos Black Angus Sub
McDonald's Big Mac (I hate the place, but oh what a sandwich!)
Subway Turkey Sub (with the southwest sauce, all the veggies, hold the olives)
D'Angelo Number 9 Sub

5 Things I've Eaten At My Favorite Sushi Place

2007-05-30T18:07:00.001-07:00

California Roll (ha! you knew that was coming)
Dragon Roll
Spicy Tuna Tartar
Farmington Roll
Spicy Tuna Hand Roll

5 Women On TV I Was Attracted To (Pre-Puberty)

2007-05-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

Wonder Woman
Charlie's Angels (I preferred Kate Jackson, myself)
The Bionic Woman
"Maria" from Sesame Street
"Joanie" from Happy Days

5 Hairstyles I've Had In My Life

2007-05-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

The mullet
Nothing but skin
High and tight
Circa 1970s hip and free
The salad bowl

5 Smelly Things That Remind Me Of My Childhood

2007-05-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Sunday paper.
Mothballs.
Turpentine.
A wet dog.
Sanford Mr. Sketch Scented Markers

5 Things Said By Co-Ed's Before They're Killed In A Horror Movie

2007-05-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

"Let's do it right here in the graveyard -- no one's gonna see us..."
"Car won't start -- I'm gonna start walking to that gas station up the road..."
"Take off that mask so I can see you..."
"Where is everybody? Oh well, I guess I'll take a shower then..."
"C'mon girls, lets hit the showers..."

5 Things I Bet Were Invented By Mistake

2007-05-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

The boomerang.
The rain stick.
The hammer.
Nitroglycerin.
Dental floss.

5 (Even More) Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Me

2007-05-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

I found the (then new) 25th Anniversary Issue of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (with Kathy Ireland on the cover) on the way home from church. Yeah, I took it home. That can't be good for my soul.
I played the trumpet and the cello as a kid.
My parents were both music teachers, when I told them I wanted to play drums, they wouldn't have it. That was the end of that :(
Sat on a yellowjacket once as a kid and it stung my butt.
First hip-hop song I heard ever: "Roxanne Roxanne" by UTFO at United Skates of America. All the kids in school afterwards went around asking, "Did you take her to the beach?" the rest of the school year. It was cool.

5 Things That Disgust Me About Eating At McDonald's

2007-05-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

Mayo on everything.
Lettuce rustier than an old Dodge Dart.
Everything tastes fried, including my Coke.
Blank stares from the counter help when I ask, "Is that fresh?"
Looking at the employees on their lunch breaks and seeing that they're eating from a different restaurant.

five things

Farewell.

5 More Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"

5 Things I Wish I Could Do, Period.

5 Things That Rhyme With 'Orange'

5 Rules For Dogs And Property

5 Things I'll Miss About Grandma

5 Things Rob Base Want You To Do (According To "It Takes Two")

5 Reasons I'm Not Voting McCain / Palin (whether they're true or not!)

5 Videos You Will Always See On "America's Funniest Videos" On Any Given Night

5 Things You Can't Shout In A Crowded Movie Theater

5 Windows Apps I Wish Were On The Mac

5 Soft Drinks I Really Miss

5 Tunes That Take Me Back To Band Camp, circa 1990

5 People I Imagine Would Be At An Orgy

5 Things That Let Me Know I'm Old

5 Things The "My Buddy" Doll Would Do If He Was A *Real* Buddy

5 Things That Let You Know The Relationship Is Over

5 Songs That Can Be Heard At Timeout During An NBA Game

5 Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"

5 Things That I Hate About Facebook

5 Things I Love About My iPod Shuffle (even though they all start with 'No')

5 Apps I Wished Apple Would Buy And Make Part Of The OS

5 Things That Will Always Happen At An Elementary School Concert

5 People I Thought Were Straight, But Aren't

Related: 5 People I Thought Were Gay, But Aren't

5 Favorite VitaminWater Flavors (In No Particular Order)

5 Things That Make Me Laugh, Every Time

5 Things That Make My Life Easier

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

5 Things I Used To Look Forward To In My Easter Basket

5 One-Hit Wonders I Thought Would Go Further In The Music Business

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

5 Things I Wish I Could Do As Well As My Sister

5 More Songs With Sick Bass Lines

5 Things I Miss About Living On Long Island

5 Places I've Slept In At Least One Night

5 Things I Did On My Snow Day Today

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation

5 Things I Think About While Watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve

5 Truths I've Learned About The Holiday Season

5 Places I'd Love To Visit (But Not Live)

5 Things I Did This Morning (before 8 am)

5 (Still More) Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Me

5 Songs With Sick Bass Lines

5 Songs Tell Me That Christmas Has Officially Begun

5 Things On Chrissie Hynde's TODO.txt file (according to "Brass In Pocket (I'm Special)")

5 Things On Steve Miller's TODO.txt file (according to "Fly Like An Eagle")

5 Gangs That Would Not Do Too Well In Prison

5 Things On The Internet I'm 100% Sure My Dad Has Never Heard Of

5 Small Things I Like About Leopard (Mac OS 10.5)

5 Things I Am Good At

5 Things (Besides Turkey) I Ate This Thanksgiving Weekend

5 Movies I Loved As A Kid, But When Viewed As An Adult, They Suck

5 Tunes In Heavy Rotation Right Now (Nov 2007)

5 Things I Loved As A Kid, But Now I Think Are Dumb

5 Things That Make Me Cry.

5 Things That Have Me Jazzed About Mac OS X 10.5 "Leopard"

5 Tunes In Heavy Rotation Right Now

5 Times In My Life I Was Really Scared

5 Complaints My Parents Made Against The Music I Love

5 Movies I Really Love

5 Games I Miss Since My XBox Died

5 Songs That Take Me Back To My First Job At Adventureland in Farmingdale, LI

5 Things I Hated About Doing Jury Duty

5 Things I Loved About Doing Jury Duty

5 Groups And The People Who Introduced Me To Them

5 Things That Piss Me Off About (most) Modern Action Movies

5 Things That Suck About Labor Day

5 Things No Longer On McDonald's Menu That I Miss

5 Ways You Can Tell Your Best Friend Is No Longer Your Best Friend

5 Stereotypical Soldiers You'll Meet In Any Movie Requiring A Group Of Soldiers

5 Things That I've Learned In The 5 Years I've Been Married

5 Songs In Heavy Rotation On My iPod In The Last 30 Days

5 People I Thought Were Gay, But Aren't

5 Things To Remember When It's This Hot

5 Sound FX In Your Fireworks Arsenal

5 Things Julie Newmar Forgot To Thank Wong Foo For

5 Things That Would Probably Taste Better Than New London Tap Water

5 Things That Suck About Hospitals

5 Things The "My Buddy" Doll Would Do If He Was A Real Buddy