five things

1. Says, "I promise to call you more often" -- then proceeds to not.
2. Changes jobs and forgets to give you new number and email address.
3. He's the Best Man at your wedding, and doesn't make you even a member of his wedding party.
4. You've had nothing new to say for years, instead relying on the same crap you've said for the last 15 years.
5. Dropped off the internet: no emails, no Instant Messenger, not even a Facebook page.
   

posted by Unknown  # 1:43 PM 0 Comments

1. The white "everyman" who just wants to get home -- usually carries a picture of his daughter for good luck.
   
2. The black guy who misses his mama's cooking.
3. The Latino who has to speak every other word en Español.
4. The geek who doesn't want to die -- but usually does.
5. The Teddy Bear "Sarge" with a tough exterior but a heart of gold.
   

posted by Unknown  # 2:49 AM 0 Comments

1. When you're going to the bathroom, the door must remain open.
2. To maintain parity, Thanksgiving is at one parent's house, Christmas is at the other's.
3. You start to recognize "The Look" when you said something you shouldn't have.
4. It's OK to argue every once in a while, as long as we make up before we go to bed.
5. It's really hard to sleep at night without her next to me.

Holy crap! I've been married 5 years! Who woulda thunk it?!?

posted by Unknown  # 5:39 AM 0 Comments

1. "Canary In A Coalmine" -- The Police
2. "Do The Funky Penguin (Part 1)" -- Rufus Thomas
3. "Connected" -- Stereo MC's
4. "Easy Lover (feat. Phil Collins)" -- Philip Bailey
5. "All Summer Long" -- The Beach Boys
   

posted by Unknown  # 3:18 AM 0 Comments

1. Alan Alda Tony Randall
2. Frank from "Trading Spaces"
3. Calvin Klein
4. Mikhail Baryshnikov
5. C-3PO

posted by Unknown  # 6:43 AM 1 Comments

1. It's hotter in Arizona.
2. It's not just the heat, it's the humidity.
3. Ice cream would NOT be better off down my shorts.
4. It sucks to be a dog.
5. Thank God for Air Conditioning.

posted by Unknown  # 12:07 PM 0 Comments

1. "Pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap-a-pap!"
2. "Squuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-pop!"
3. "Flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-flutt-pop!"
4. "Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...pop!"
5. "Dude, watch this... ow! my finger!"
   

posted by Unknown  # 9:26 AM 0 Comments

1. "Thanks for the memories..."
2. "Thanks for the fish..."
3. "Thanks for setting up my computer"
4. "Thanks for giving me that cold..."
5. "Thanks for adding me as a friend to your MySpace list..."

posted by Unknown  # 10:38 AM 0 Comments

1. The spit from one of those "Alien" critters.
2. Sour milk.
3. Pizza grease drippings.
4. Stale beer.
5. Liquid Drano.

posted by Unknown  # 10:32 AM 0 Comments