five things

Since 2006, my loving nod to Merlin Mann's 5ives :-) A member of the Deep Mustard network

Sunday, November 16, 2008



Today, I'm announcing my final posting here at “Your Friendly Neighborhood Mac Guy”. Effective immediately, I am effectively closing both “Your Friendly Neighborhood Mac Guy” and it’s second-cousin-twice-removed site, “Five Things”. Neither blog is going away, I’ll keep them up as long as Blogspot allows it. the same crap content you know and love will now be found at my new blog, “Spicy Brown” –
It’s been a terrific run since I started way back in… harumphharumph. This decision did not come easily for me, since being here is something that I've loved to do since I discovered my voice here on the Internet. There have been a few reasons for doing this and I hope you all switch your bookmarks over to the new site.
Finally, to quote Babe Ruth, who's pictured here:
"There's been so many lovely things said about me, and I'm glad that I've had the opportunity to thank everybody. Thank you."


Q: Why are you shuttering two sites?
A: I have a long commute back and forth to work. As a result, my blogging time has shrunken dramatically. There’s also my family; for some strange reason they want to spend more time with me.

Q: What happens to all that crap content you’ve posted?
A: They will still be available at and -- until Blogspot pulls the plug.

Q: Where can I locate you?
A: I’m always available at

Q: I love you, run away with me!
A: First off, that’s not really a question, secondly, I’m already happily married, thank you very much.

Q: Are you done yet?
A: Yes.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


5 More Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"

  1. "More adidas sneakers than Reagan's got jelly beans..."
  2. "Got more rhymes than my beeper's got beeps..."
  3. "More flavor than the prune in Dr. Pepper..."
  4. "Step to me and I'll back the heck down..."
  5. "In the back of the ride and I'll provide the OJ"

related: 5 Rejected References From The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique"


5 Things I Wish I Could Do, Period.

  1. Make origami paper cranes.
  2. Play slide trombone.
  3. Juggle.
  4. Beat the original "Super Mario Brothers" game.
  5. Drive 55 (ha!).


5 Things That Rhyme With 'Orange'


Saturday, October 25, 2008


5 Rules For Dogs And Property

  1. If I like it, it’s mine.
  2. If it's in my mouth, it’s mine.
  3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
  4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
  5. If I buried it somewhere, it must not have been yours anyway.

Monday, October 20, 2008


5 Things I'll Miss About Grandma

Note: My grandmother passed away on February 22, 2008. Tomorrow she'll be buried at sea, and I wanted to pass on some fond memories to you.
  1. The smell of mothballs in her house.
  2. The box of Luden's cough drops she always carried in her purse.
  3. Her tounge sticking out whenever I tried to take her picture.
  4. The best meatballs ever cooked by a Lithuanian.
  5. Her Boston accent, since she only spoke, in her words, "The Queen's English".

Saturday, October 11, 2008


5 Things Rob Base Want You To Do (According To "It Takes Two")

  1. Bring all the suckers, 'cause all them he'll stomp.
  2. It won't hurt to listen to Red Alert.
  3. Take off your shirt, make sure it don't hit the dirt.
  4. Go to the Wiz and select it.
  5. Take it off the rack, if it's wack put it back.


5 Reasons I'm Not Voting McCain / Palin (whether they're true or not!)

  1. Dude looks like he cool keel over any second now. Should they have a second-string candidate?
  2. McCain has one 'Nam flashback, and he's pressing the red button. Who knows where those ICBMs are headed? Goodbye, Baltimore!
  3. Palin's whole MILF factor makes me uncomfortable. It's like voting for Angelina Jolie...
  4. It kind of negates the whole "Obama is the Messiah" thing that's going on. Everyone likes a happy ending.
  5. Al Gore invented the internet; didn't become president.  McCain invented the Blackberry! -- See where I'm going with this? Inventors have no time for puny stuff like presidency...

Sunday, October 05, 2008


5 Videos You Will Always See On "America's Funniest Videos" On Any Given Night

  1. Grandpa losing his dentures.
  2. A kid trying to hit a piñata, but instead smacking somebody's nuts.
  3. Dogs and cats not getting along.
  4. A baby with some sort of food item in it's hair.
  5. Somebody slipping on ice and falling down... hard.


5 Things You Can't Shout In A Crowded Movie Theater

  1. "Fire!"
  2. "Hey, Who farted?"
  3. "Don't go in there! He's got an axe!"
  4. "These aren't Raisinettes! I asked for Raisinettes!"
  5. "Hello? I can't talk now... I'm watching a movie... Hello? Can you - can you hear me? A moooovie... Yeah, I'm at the movies now..."

Sunday, September 21, 2008


5 Windows Apps I Wish Were On The Mac

  1. Paint.NET
  2. Yeah, there are plenty of practical photo-viewing apps out there for Mac, but nothing does the quick-and-dirty Photoshop-lite stuff (for free, no less!) better than Paint.NET.
  3. Picasa
  4. Now, I love iPhoto, but a little competition in this space would be awesome.
  5. Internet Explorer 7
  6. For those sites that just don't want to commit to web standards (like my company's site!) just yet...
  7. Microsoft Access
  8. See number 2, but substitute "Filemaker Pro"
  9. Google Chrome
  10. Fast as greased lightning. An awesome browser!


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